ACTION AGAINST ASSAULT
Sabhi Ladke Ladkiyon se vinamra Nivedan
(Visheshkar 18 varsha se kam aayu waalon ke hitaarth)..
Priya Mitra..
agar aapka koi bhi mama/chacha/taau/mausa/fufa/jija/bhaai/etc ya fir
aapka naukar/driver/maali/rickshawwala/etc ya fir
aapke school ka chaprasi/shikshak/sahpaathi/etc.. ya fir
aapka koi bhai online/offline mitra; parichit/aparichit ya koi aur..
.. aapko lagataar ghoorta rehta hai.. gande ishare karta hai; gande sms bhejta hai; gandi baat karta hai; gandi harkat karta hai athwa aisa kuchh bhi karne ki koshish karta hai..
.. to dariye mat! kyunki aapka yahi darr aise ghinone aur vikrat maansikta waale logon ki himmat badhata hai. turant apne maata pita se is baare mein baat kariye aur unhein is baat ki andekhi ke dushparinaamon ke prati sachet kariye! aur agar yadi aisa karne waala koi kaliyugi pita hi hai.. to police ko iski suchna zaroor dein aur apni shikayat darz karayein.
kabhi bhi is prakaar ki kisi ghatna ko sahein athwa dabayein mat. apradhi pravratti ke logon ko yeh bharosa na ho jaane dein ki woh kuchh bhi kar sakte hain aur hum sab yeh chupchaap seh lenge.. aise logon ke khilaaf awaaz uthayein.. chahein wo awaaz aapke akele ki hi kyun na ho!
aapki ek awaaz kal kai Daaminiyon ki raksha karne mein sahayak hogi!
Dear Friends..
If any of your
Uncle/In-Laws/Brothers/Cousins/Maternals/Guardians/etc OR
servant/cook/guard/driver/gardener/caretaker OR
peon/clerk/teacher/principal/any student at your school/college OR
colleague/superior/subordinate at your office OR
online/offline friend, known/stranger OR any other person..
constantly ogles you; unnecessarily follows you; sends indecent messages; makes obscene gestures at you; talks inappropriately or makes any unwanted move... or ever tries to do so.. or have done any such thing in the past.. its the right time you have a mature conversation with your parents. Never Panic! because your fear feeds the inhuman tendencies of ssuch abnormal people. Reflect openly to your parents what the possible consequences of ignoring such behaviour might be.And if the unwanted thing comes from your real/step parent himself.. call Police and lodge a complaint at the very first such instance!
Never neglect; suppress; ignore or undergo such incidence quietly. because the beast will lookout for another prey.
Never let the slut get the cue that he will go unpunished even after doing anything.
Raise a voice against them.. however little your voice may be.. all drops go to ocean!
Your single determined step against such harassment may avoid any DAMINI-like incidence in future!
IMPORTANT TIPS ON HOW TO AVOID AND PREVENT PHYSICAL ABUSE (for parents)
Dear Sir/Madam..
- Avoid buying your sons/daughters always sweet things like sweets, cakes, jaggery and biscuits etc. They will get used to it so much that if they fail to get in future, they can easily be tempted to accept them from strangers who can use this to lure and assault them.
- Avoid that habit of sending your sons/daughters late at night or early morning to shops, other peoples’ homes or anywhere else.
- Avoid too much leisure life for your sons/daughters, it must be occasional, should they be used to it and fail to get it in future, they can be tempted to accept money or services from any man/boy and it could be a trap to assault them one day.
- Don’t leave your sons/daughters no matter how young with strangers or distant relatives you are not sure of.
IMPORTANT TIPS ON HOW TO AVOID AND PREVENT PHYSICAL ABUSE (for girls/boys)
Friends..
- Avoid situations and lifestyles that could lead you to get assaulted.
- Carry a cellphone with you and dial EMERGENCY at the very first outbreak of Assault.
- Even if it’s daytime, late hours or at night, avoid risk areas such as dark places, dimly lit areas, lonely places, bushy areas, short-cuts, being alone in a room with a man other than your husband, father or brother.
- It’s good practice especially when it’s late to walk in company of known friends, workmates or schoolmates, incase assaulters strike they can easily raise alarm and get help when you are many.
- Never trust any man hundred percent. Assaulters don’t have outward signs, they could be strangers or people you know very well.
- Take care during dates or parties and make sure that the venue is a public place, have an interest to know how drinks or food are served.
- Walk with eyes and ears open, because some assaulters may surprise you although some are cunning. They can grab you, knock you down, tear your clothes or even use drugs.
- When you are at home, school, place of work or anywhere else, make sure you wear clothes which don’t embarrass you, or which attract too much negative attention from men/boys. (I am not against how you should dress, but the question is how safe or respectful are you in public places, institutions, place of work or even at home.)
- You should be aware of the motive behind that party or date and if it is really necessary.
*** Not all men are bad, there are only few misbehaving most of them are very respectful, caring and good fathers, husbands, brothers, uncles, grandfathers, neighbours and friends.
So don’t condemn them in general
PREVENTION AGAINST ASSAULT
- A boy or a man should not touch your body or private parts intentionally, this could lead to defilement should you allow it to go on for a long time or for days.
- A good child does not loiter on the way home, you should make sure that you are at home before it is late.
- Avoid being carried anyhowly shoulder high by boys or men even if you know them.
- Avoid playing too much with boys in your school to the extent whereby you allow them to touch most of your body.
- Avoid being out or going out to the shops, movies, parks, malls or river late hours.
- Avoid unnecessary shaking hands with men or boys you don’t know.
- Be aware of people who come to your school, temple, hospital, office or anywhere else claiming to have been sent by your parents and yet it is all false.
- Don’t accept lifts from people you don’t know.
- Don’t accept money, sweet things and snack foods from people you don’t know or even schoolmates, watchmen or male neighbours.
- Don’t accept to show a stranger away if he claims to be lost, instead tell him to seek help from fellow men and if he insists run away from him and scream for help.
- Don’t bath naked where people can easily see you even if it is at home or in the river, while at home use the bathroom and make sure it is locked.
- Don’t make a habit of being close to male neighbours and even going to the extent of playing with them every time.
- If a male visitor comes home and you are alone don’t make a mistake of opening the door, even if he is a family friend, tell him the door is locked and your parents have gone with the key.
- If a person comes home and request for water, make sure you close the door behind you and give him water even through the window.
- In case a male neighbour sends you to the shop make sure that when you bring the items don’t take for him inside the house, call him and if he doesn’t come leave the items at the door and go home.
- It is good to walk in groups so that if someone surprises you, you can raise an alarm and easily get help.
- Take care when you are from or to school, shops, movies, parks, malls etc, don’t respond to calls by people you don’t know.
- When a man or boy starts seductive signals, praises and giving you gifts anyhowly be careful avoid and say no to all these.
- When you are to or from somewhere on foot and notice a man blocking your way avoid him, if he still blocks you go back while screaming for help.
- When you are from school or anywhere else, go home quickly and avoid playing too much on the way.
- When you want to change clothes at home, especially after bathing ensure that nobody sees your nakedness.
The people who care about these victims must always try to give a constant feeling of reassurance that he/she is not alone (without accusations and trying to make guilty etc.) and be prepared to be there when the victim is ready. i.e. his/her survival instinct gets stronger than the fear of being abused.. when the self-hate/guilt/shame/self-punishment for being abused and not being able to resolve it alone gets replaced by the constructive survival power. The time is perfect to get a professional outside help to enable the victim to escape and get professional therapeutical treatment of the traumatic expierences and their mental consequences. Professional therapy and good future experiences with people (of any kind) help the victim to find sense of worth, readjust the distorted world view and loose fear of people in general, especially non judgmental treatment and behavior of others.
One important thing people who have relative/friends in such situations is to work on themselves to not feel guilty if they find out that they cant help the victim in abusive relationship to see and accept their help by advice, pleads, talking to her/him etc. because the person “seemingly” ignores the advices and help offers etc. They do not ignore it, they are just not ready to risk their life yet, because mostly when a victim of abusive relationship finally breaks out and seeks help, its mostly when they find out that staying in that relationship and surrender to the assaulter's wishes does not change that fact that they are fearing for their life and being destructed, when their psyche is demolished enough that they feel they have nothing to lose (life), as they could be dead soon in either way (suicide, or the abuser may once hit harder or the abuser trying to punish them because he/she fled him and got professional legal help)
